Does Silence Really Exist?

So much for that post last week saying I would be blogging less about my CI, lol. I don’t mean to bore you all. I have heard so many people say they wish they had kept a journal the first few months of getting their CI. So, I’m doing this for myself also. I don’t really expect people to keep reading all these CI-related posts. 🙂

If you haven’t figured out by now I’m always thinking about something (annoying at times) which is probably why I’m always posting something and I don’t even post half of what I would like to. I figured I would spare you that other half.

I have decided that silence does NOT exist in the hearing world.

Silence is defined as the absence of speech, noise, or sound( http://www.thefreedictionary.com/silence).

I always thought hearing people could experience what silence was…that is until now. I had a mini mission the other day to see if I could figure out a set up where there’s no sound whatsoever. Impossible. You have things like the refrigerator humming, wind blowing, birds, etc. When I finally thought I figured out a way to avoid all sounds…I realized I could hear myself breathing. I can’t exactly turn off my breathing without severe consequences. I guess the only way a hearing person can experience true silence is if they lock themselves in a soundproof booth (without any lights buzzing, vent, etc.) and hold their breath for as long as they can before passing out. :-p I’m sure hearing people do experience silence, but I think it’s in a different way….it’s in a way where they have the ability to tune out all those little noises that they are still hearing without realizing it.

Silence is one thing I always wished I could share with my hearing friends/family. Just watching the world in silence makes you notice different stuff that the world has to offer. I always noticed different things when I had my hearing aids on vs when I didn’t. I have always liked that I could view the world from a different perspective but it’s hard when you can’t share it with some of your good friends/family. I know the opposite holds true for my hearing friends/family who wish they could share their world fully with me.

Growing up, I thought I had the general concept of sounds somewhat figured out. Turns out, I didn’t. I feel like I’m sorting through my own misconceptions of this noisy world. My perspective of the world for the last 25 years is being challenged right now. It’s an interesting process and is one that’s hard to explain. Some things that I had believed to be true for the last 25 years aren’t true anymore.

I went to a friend’s volleyball game and a few friends rode with me. I have been pretty pleased that I can finally listen to music at a volume in my car without getting looks at red lights or bothering the neighbors when coming home late at night (even though I still like to turn it up). I kind of forgot what happens when you have a car full of deaf people. One of my friends without any warning cranked up my CD player to the maximum volume. Stuff like that make me smile because that’s when I know we really share that common bond that comes with being deaf and we don’t have to explain our “deaf tendencies.”

I think feeling the vibrations of some music is the best way to experience music. There is a reason why some hearing people like it so loud too. 🙂

Growing up, my dad drilled it into my head that there are pros and cons to everything in life…no matter how good or how bad something is. I both love and hate being deaf. I also both love and hate “hearing.” There are pros and cons of not being able to hear anything and there are pros and cons to being able to hear.

Random: Since when can you hear a pop can (or a soda can for you east coasters) being opened from 5 feet away? 🙂 Maybe I’m odd, but I’ve found that I like the sound of water/pop/etc. being poured into a glass. Also, someone please make my computer fan stop running so much….the sound is driving me up the wall.